Is There a Time Limit on Third World Living?

January 27, 2012 · 32 comments

Cambodia has been good to me. I moved here in 2002 and since then the country has inspired me and allowed to live in a way that I could have only dreamt about in the past.

However, living in any third world environment has its frustrations and especially since I have become a father these frustrations seem to be amplified.

I don’t know if you get to a point where minor annoyances become massive pains or does one simply get tired of third world living?

I only know a handful of people who have been here for more than 15 years and so I am constantly wondering if after some time one just has to accept that we, as foreigners, do not belong here.

I think that when I first arrived these small annoyances kind of amused me but as the novelty has worn off they have simply become annoying.

Living in Cambodia has generally been quite easy for me as long as I have followed these 3 simple rules – don’t get in anyone’s face, don’t think you are some big shot when clearly you aren’t and don’t think you can change the way the country runs.

However, it is the following small things that have started to grind me down and led me to think about other options for the future.

  • Littering – so upsetting to see such a beautiful country constantly littered with discarded plastic bags.
Litter in Cambodia

The day after a house warming party - everything gets cleared up other than the plastic bags

  • Driving skills – It seems that anyone can buy a car or motorbike in Cambodia, get in it and drive off without any formal instruction. Consequently there are so many situations you face on a daily basis of completely disastrous driving manoeuvres.
  • Law & Order - A few days ago I was browsing the Phnom Penh Post and came across this article where a local military policeman in Stung Treng attacked his girlfriend in a drunken rage beating her in the face with his gun. His punishment was to be sent to headquarters for “a short time”.  Sadly, stories like this happen regularly and I would say that only a handful even get reported and make the news.
  • Power Cuts – Here in Kampot we still get regular power cuts often up to 2 or 3 per day. As you’d expect they always seem to happen just at a crucial time; after putting the kids to bed, as you’re in the middle of an important email. Talk of how the new dam & hydro electricity plant built in Kampot selling all its power to Vietnam instead of first powering its nearest town doesn’t help matters.

There are other things too that frustrate me but a lot of these are frustrations you’d encounter in any society; poor service, poor repairs, poor internet and poor local services.

This year we are taking a sabbatical from third world living and heading to France for 5-6 months in April at the start of the hot season. Luckily my business allows me to work remotely so we’re going to make the most of this opportunity while we can.

2012 will be a time of reflection for us to decide if we can maintain our lifestyle in rural Cambodia or begin a new chapter in our lives elsewhere.


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Tagged as: expat life, expat living, expats, the third world

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  • Anonymous

    I have a theory that all expats will eventually but usually around the 3-year mark run into a sort of “wall” at which point all the little annoyances gather into a crisis, forcing one to seriously reconsider living in their adopted home.  If you can make it over the wall, or find a way to deal with the issues without being frustrated (it must be possible, right, since all the locals can do it) then you can stay forever.  

    Some other things to consider: not all developing cities are the same, and with the rapid pace of development, the place you originally fell in love with may no longer exist a few years later.  But it can be the changes we want to see happen that never do, or at least not soon enough, that frustrate us the most.

    • Simon Oliver

      Interesting – a lot of people seem to leave at around the 3 year mark so I think your theory makes sense.

      I think some of us, when we arrive in a developing country, are also so happy to have escaped from the place where we are from and so almost anyway seems exciting.

      Thanks for the comment.

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  • Dvcambodia2000

    so foie gras and stinky cheese will fix this one? 

    I’ve had discussions about the thirld worldness you describe. In fact, a friend who is a keen observer once remarked when we were discussing the indigenous challenges: “some people need more structure than others”. 

    Maybe read The Sovereign Individual … then you can pick and choose the things that work for you and leave the rest. For example the unadulterated freedom in Cambodia causes some to self-destruct … while others  thrive. Do you want to contribute taxes to teaching/enforcing good driving etiquette or pay first-world police to fine litterers? 

    • Simon Oliver

      Thanks for the input. The time we spend in France this year is not to decide if we want to live there but where the next step may be within South East Asia. I don’t think we’re ready for the move back to the West at this point.

      I definitely agree with your friend’s observations. When I arrived in Cambodia as a young(er) single male there wasn’t much that concerned me. Now with a wife and two kids you tend to be affected by things more.

  • Anonymous

    I really like the post and that you’ve brought up the subject.  

    There are days when we think about this more than others.  For us the frequency seems to related to health or medical problems. 

  • Gareth

    I think taking a break is definitely a good idea when you are having these kind of thoughts. I lived in Japan for over 3 years the first time. I took a break for 2 and a half years before heading back here to Japan a year ago. The time away allowed me to think about the things I really liked and a appreciated about the country. The annoyances I had before are no longer annoyances. I just live with them, I realise I can’t do anything about them and I find a way to amuse myself about them. Of course, Japan is different to Cambodia in a lot of respects but I think there are a lot of similarities in terms of a Brit living in a foreign land.

    Will I stay here forever? Possibly not. But the reasons for me leaving would be more to do with searching out a new adventure rather than falling out of love with Japan.

    • Simon Oliver

      Interesting points. Thanks Gareth.

  • http://twitter.com/VannyChhan Vanny Chhan

    When I visited Cambodia for the first time in 2010, I was disappointed and disheartened to see litter ruin beautiful landscapes as well. I couldn’t understand why plastic bags, bottles and cans couldn’t just be put into a bag or a box. So glad I checked out your blog. Looks like I can learn a lot from you about life in Cambodia.

  • Josh

    I think it mostly depends on your reason for being there and/or potential threats you perceive to your well being – and I use the term “threats” very widely here – or that of your family. If you lose the former or the latter becomes too great you will likely close shop.

     So far, I’ve started over again on 2 continents (7 years in the US and 4 in Thailand). I left the US because the parent company had closed down the company that employed me and I was still stuck in the green card application process, which then had to be aborted and I left Thailand after 4+ years because teaching under Thai administration was not for me (teaching in general very much so, though) and I needed to raise funds in the medium term, which I felt I could do better in Europe. Still, I would like to move back to Asia but when I make the move this time in 5 – 7 years, then only with enough money to never be in need of a job again.

  • Patrick

    We spent 3.5 years in Cambodia, and had Julia’s mum not become ill we would have stayed longer. Having had our first son in the UK, our perspective changed. Had we had him in Cambodia we most probably would have reconciled ourselves to the realities of medical care, as you clearly have. The need for formal education, I think, would have forced our hand.

    As for the “minor” annoyances – lawlessness and driving would be my top 2, not least because they could endanger my children.

    • Simon Oliver

      Hi Patrick – thanks for the comments. Medical care is always slighrtly the worry especially if like us your live in the countryside. We were reminded of this when we were in Bangkok and our 3.5 year old smacked her head on the side of a table while playing ballet and required stitches. 15 minutes later we were in a top Bangkok hospital under excellent care.

  • http://www.vireak.net/ vireak

    I’m a Khmer and can totally relate to your situation. I returned home and started a family after long years abroad. The more we integrate into the society the more we can’t ignore all those annoying, sad and sometimes brutal reality. Littering, road choas, lawlessness and power abuse are become more and more directly affecting us. I hope it gets better some day. As Khmer, we don’t have many choices anyway.

    • Simon Oliver

      Thanks a lot for your comment Vireak.

      I’m in two minds about the future; one minute I think things are changing for the better and then something happens and I think life here is pretty much the same here as it was when I arrived in 2002.

      Let’s hope the new generation of Cambodians are pro change.

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  • MichelleH

    Just a word – if you get frustrated with your short list, please don’t trying living in South Africa. It will drive you mad. 

  • Paul Ellender

    Thank you for your insights… I will be heading over to Cambodia for an extended period and I dont want to glamorise, nor gloss over the challenges that are clearly evident.